Top 15 Quotes About Beef Jerky

Last Updated on February 4, 2021 by Scott M. Thomas

Below you’ll find some interesting quotes about beef jerky. 

“I eat beef jerky and ride with bare feet on the dashboard.” – Gillian Flynn

“Oh man, a six pack of soda – five dollars, bag of beef jerky – six dollars, scaring the living shit out of your best friend – priceless.” – Dominick Anderson

quotes about beef jerky images

“Dear Mr. Gibbon. Sorry I was absent. Here is some salted food. Please grade it the way you would a jenti piece of beef jerky.” – Douglas Rees

“You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.” – Jeff Foxworthy

“I’ve always been obsessed with beef jerky.” – Elizabeth Hurley

“I’ll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent. so people are choking and gagging; and let’s throw beef jerky in their eyes! Now, that’s a plan!” – James Patterson

“Thank God it wasn’t beef jerky, or I might’ve ended up dead.” – Brett Bacon

“I stared at the words. They stared back. Then they waved and smiled and shrugged – like, We’ll be keeping you company for a while, so you might as well invite us in so we can give you cankles, and cravings for beef jerky and pickles dipped in mustard. I wanted to push those words off a cliff.” – Penny Reid

“Reading a Lydia Davis story collection is like reaching into what you think is a bag of potato chips and pulling out something else entirely: a gherkin, a pepper corn, a truffle, a piece of beef jerky.” – Kate Christensen

“Cold liquid splashing across his face brought Kevin Temple back to himself. He’d been on the road all night, a dedicated run from Indiana hauling a load of fresh vegetables. Fifteen minutes out of the depot in Cleveland, and he had that stale feel, too much coffee washing down too much beef jerky. What he’d really been craving was a double cheeseburger, but while it would surprise no one to see a trucker gone flabby around.” – Marcus Sakey

“I might die from a bear attack; I could also succumb to a rattlesnake or a puma, slip down a rocky ravine, have a tree branch fall on my head, choke on beef jerky, or any other of a million unanticipated disasters. That’s the thrill of backcountry exploration. My vulnerability is exquisite. If I don’t watch out for me, no one else will.” – Howard Smith

“Kaia darling, Willaim said, nearly leaping over a stand of beef jerky in his haste to reach her. Are you here to fight the strippers who just enjoyed hours of my company? Hardly, she said, tossing her glorious mane of hair over her shoulder with a single flip of her wrist. I’m here to thank them for keeping you occupied. Please tell me they’re still with you.” – Gena Showalter

“It wasn’t exactly like talking, but it went something like this: Could you give us a ride north, Percy asked, like as close to Portland as possible? Eat seals, the whale responded. Are you seals? No, Percy admitted. I’ve got a man satchel full of macrobiotic beef jerky, though. The whale shuddered. Promise not to feed me this, and I will take you north. Deal.” – Rick Riordan

“I was stealing salt shakers again. Ten, sometimes twelve a night, shoving them up my sleeves, smuggling them out of bars and diners and anywhere else I could find them. In the morning, wherever I woke up, I was always covered in salt. I was cured meat. I had become beef jerky. Even as a small child, I knew it would one day come to this.” – Paul Neilan

funny quotes about beef jerky

“Champagne was discovered by a Catholic monk,” said Bernard. “Took one swallow and burst out of his cellar yelling, ‘I’m drinking stars, I’m drinking stars!’ Tequila was invented by a bunch of brooding Indians. Into human sacrifice and pyramids. Somewhere between champagne and tequila is the secret history of Mexico, just as somewhere between beef jerky and Hostess Twinkies is the secret history of America. Or aren’t you in the mood for epigrams?” – Tom Robbins

“This is my emergency kit. It contained a roll of duct tape, a spare pair of pants, an envelope with two hundred dollars, two bags of dried fruit, two packages of beef jerky, three bottles of water, a roll of thick shop towels you see mechanics use, a small metal pipe – just right for cracking a skull with – and a fake beard. Look, you never know.” – David Wong

“The wedding vows are a license to be a complete jerk, with full knowledge that the person you married has agreed, no matter how large a horse’s ass you are, to stay by your side until death. A fool could tell you this is a bad deal.” – Adriana Trigiani

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